Jane broke the plate. She didn’t mean to. It was the fanciest plate she had ever laid her hands on, ever. It was gifted to her husband on their wedding day as a family heirloom—passed down from four generations above—and yet he used it every day like a Target 50-cent plastic alternative. A slab of steak, a mound of broccoli, caramel flan or sliced persimmons.
It was horrible to clean. Five bright-red faceted (fake?) rubies were stuck around the edges like the horns of a short-horned lizard; gold paint surrounded these stubs in an ugly DNA. The bottom of the plate was completely white, but matte, such that any stain refused to come out but also waved and said hi against the backdrop of blandness whenever it remained. With each additional and unnecessary of the plate, she popped it in the dishwasher; it came out pristine each time. On her husband’s birthday, she had a sudden shower thought that maybe it deserved better treatment. After all, you can’t trust technology. She scoured a subreddit called r/horribletoclean and learned that these delicate heirlooms didn’t belong in the dishwasher after all—they needed a just-as-delicate hand washing with gentle soap and non-abrasive sponge. Her husband was out late, so it was perfect. So the housewife who hated doing dishes did the dishes, by hand, and as she grabbed the porcelain edge, one whoopsie-daisies and it slipped out her fingers and cracked into three clean pieces at the bottom of the stainless steel sink. Another oh, fiddlesticks and she dropped the mug from her other hand in a panic and smashed them into pebbles and powder. The jewels fell out, the DNA unraveled, and all there was left was a mess to clean up and a confrontation to happen.
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Prompt from Daily Themes Week 6: Registers
Write a theme about something “high” in any way (e.g., fancy, noble, serious, timeless, important) using invariably casual language.